Search This Blog

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Amazing writing.....

Here is an essay that one of my summer school students wrote. Her amazing word choice and voice impressed me.....



            I strongly disagree with the punishment that has been bestowed upon the two Australian swimmers. They are banned from social media for one month and must leave the Olympics once their competition is finished. This was brought on by a photo of them that was posted to Facebook.  The punishment is way too harsh. What they did was not against the law. There was no real punishment for the Australian swim team in 2007 when they did basically the same thing and then some. The picture didn’t show anything that showcased dangerous behavior, which I feel is the most significant reason of my disagreement.

            The two Australians that posted the picture of themselves with guns didn’t have any sort of malicious intent. There was nothing in the photo that truly purveyed intentions of violence and/or dangerous behavior. Both men are of age and they were in a controlled environment. Also, in the photo, they were holding the guns and smiling for a snapshot that was nothing more than a fun picture. Not only that, but what they did is completely legal. My points are credible and enough to make me go against these punishments.

            In conclusion, I have enough credible points to go with my disagreement with these punishments. These men didn’t do anything wrong so why should they have to endure such a punishment as them being banned for one month from social media and them being forced to leave the Olympic Games once their competition is done? People like to have fun, that’s all these men were doing, having fun.


No comments:

Post a Comment